The Eclectic Company: Get the LARD Out!!!!

* "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon!"

* "Those who throw dirt only lose ground."

* "I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."

* "The road to success is always under construction."

* "I fish, therefore I lie."

* "Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back and I know Y."

* "Teamwork means never having to take all the blame."

* "I barely survived yesterday and now it's already today!"

* "Do you call Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?"

* "So, how many days DID it take to build Rome?"

* "Cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues."

* "Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday."

* "Don't sweat petty things . . . or pet sweaty things"

* "Two wrongs are only the beginning"

* "Worrying works. 90% of the things I worry about never happen."

* "I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart."

* "When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?"

* "Legend: A lie that has the dignity of age."

* "A diamond is forever: The payments are longer."

* "When in doubt, mumble: When in trouble, delegate: When in charge, ponder."

* "I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle."

* "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!"

* "It is better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."

* "An eye for an eye leaves the world blind."

* "Sports do not build character, they reveal it!"

* "Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture"

* "I'm in shape - round IS a shape."

* "Money talks, but all mine says is "good-bye."

* "If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?"

* "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!"

* "A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff"

* "I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it!"

* "Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is."

* "Nothing is fool proof to a talented fool."

* "Bacteria - the back door of a cafeteria."

* "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

* "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts."

* "As I said before, I never repeat myself."

* "Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!"

* "Young at heart, slightly older in other places."

* "(I'm) proof that evolution can go in reverse"

* "My reality check bounced"

* "If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?"

* "I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them."

* "I was uncool before uncool was cool."

* "Middle age: When your age starts to show around your middle"

* "Do not disturb, I'm already disturbed."

* "If an open door is ajar, is an open jar adoor?"

* "March Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."

* "Telepath Wanted: You know where to apply!"

* "The information went data way"

* "I'm bilingual - I speak English and SMACK!"

* "Mental floss prevents moral decay."

* "Why use a big word when a diminutive one will do?"

* "Why is abbreviation such a long word?"

* "I can see clearly now, the brain is gone."

* "Every morning is the dawn of a new error"

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Quotes of Note

You're born a male but you have to CHOOSE to be a man" - Herm Edwards

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Unknown

"They err who think Santa Clause comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart." - Mrs. Paul M. Ell

"Thankfully, our true roots are in heritage and not things. I just need to keep reminding myself that things are only reminders of heritage." - Keetha Broyles, June 21, 2010

"Tears lubricate the soul." - from "Finding Buck McHenry"

"Somehow you must come to understand that God is love, that love is the proof of God, and forgiveness is the proof of love." - The Priest in "Levi's Will" by W. Dale Cramer

"The truth about a man is in what he does, not what he says." - W. Dale Cramer in "Levi's Will"

"Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G. K. Chesterton

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Get the LARD Out!!!!

(photo from media.economist)

Am I the only one who is TIRED of checking my e-mail ONLY to be greeted with "fat" ads?

(photo from eHow)

I searched and searched, to no avail, for the actual images that pop out at me in my mail.

(photo from eHow)

I mean, it is BAD enough to see this in the MIRROR in the morning - - -

(photo from Dazeley/Getty)

Do I HAVE to be EXPOSED (pun intended) to it online TOO?????

Oh, and these images that I found - - - they aren't even CLOSE to being as obnoxious as the ones that appear in my mailbox.

(photo from "Ripped Abs" ad)

Those are animated. Imagine, dancing adipose tissue before your eyes.

Please, Yahoo - - - GET THE LARD OUT!!!!

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6 comments:

Dustin and Kayla said...: these last 2 pics make me want to vomit!; May 12, 2009 at 9:16 PM
Keetha Broyles said...: I know Kayla - - - that's how I feel EVERY time I go to my Yahoo mail!!!!; May 13, 2009 at 3:27 AM
Leigh of Tales from Bloggeritaville said...: ewww.sad; May 13, 2009 at 7:34 AM
Shoemaker Family said...: Our yahoo mail, too, is getting VERY ridiculous with the amount of spam we're receiving!!! What is going on?!?!?; May 13, 2009 at 7:46 AM
Debby@Just Breathe said...: OMG ! I don't even like to see my own stomach in the mirror !!!!; May 13, 2009 at 1:21 PM
Martin LaBar said...: Well, you've put the photos to good use. Thank God that you don't look like that!; May 13, 2009 at 8:21 PM