The Eclectic Company: You Can Chillax 'Cause I Am!!!

* "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon!"

* "Those who throw dirt only lose ground."

* "I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."

* "The road to success is always under construction."

* "I fish, therefore I lie."

* "Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back and I know Y."

* "Teamwork means never having to take all the blame."

* "I barely survived yesterday and now it's already today!"

* "Do you call Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?"

* "So, how many days DID it take to build Rome?"

* "Cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues."

* "Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday."

* "Don't sweat petty things . . . or pet sweaty things"

* "Two wrongs are only the beginning"

* "Worrying works. 90% of the things I worry about never happen."

* "I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart."

* "When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?"

* "Legend: A lie that has the dignity of age."

* "A diamond is forever: The payments are longer."

* "When in doubt, mumble: When in trouble, delegate: When in charge, ponder."

* "I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle."

* "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!"

* "It is better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."

* "An eye for an eye leaves the world blind."

* "Sports do not build character, they reveal it!"

* "Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture"

* "I'm in shape - round IS a shape."

* "Money talks, but all mine says is "good-bye."

* "If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?"

* "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!"

* "A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff"

* "I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it!"

* "Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is."

* "Nothing is fool proof to a talented fool."

* "Bacteria - the back door of a cafeteria."

* "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

* "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts."

* "As I said before, I never repeat myself."

* "Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!"

* "Young at heart, slightly older in other places."

* "(I'm) proof that evolution can go in reverse"

* "My reality check bounced"

* "If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?"

* "I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them."

* "I was uncool before uncool was cool."

* "Middle age: When your age starts to show around your middle"

* "Do not disturb, I'm already disturbed."

* "If an open door is ajar, is an open jar adoor?"

* "March Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."

* "Telepath Wanted: You know where to apply!"

* "The information went data way"

* "I'm bilingual - I speak English and SMACK!"

* "Mental floss prevents moral decay."

* "Why use a big word when a diminutive one will do?"

* "Why is abbreviation such a long word?"

* "I can see clearly now, the brain is gone."

* "Every morning is the dawn of a new error"

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Quotes of Note

You're born a male but you have to CHOOSE to be a man" - Herm Edwards

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Unknown

"They err who think Santa Clause comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart." - Mrs. Paul M. Ell

"Thankfully, our true roots are in heritage and not things. I just need to keep reminding myself that things are only reminders of heritage." - Keetha Broyles, June 21, 2010

"Tears lubricate the soul." - from "Finding Buck McHenry"

"Somehow you must come to understand that God is love, that love is the proof of God, and forgiveness is the proof of love." - The Priest in "Levi's Will" by W. Dale Cramer

"The truth about a man is in what he does, not what he says." - W. Dale Cramer in "Levi's Will"

"Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G. K. Chesterton

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Sunday, November 21, 2010

You Can Chillax 'Cause I Am!!!

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Turd Ferguson here, checking in with my Blog Peeps!

First of all, let me just say that I didn't know I HAD any Blog Peeps!! It has just tickled my little fishy gills PINK to HEAR from several of you that you ARE indeed my Blog Peeps and that you are WORRIED about me since Miss Keetha moved.

Well, worry no more! Here I am, living down in the football cave. This is the way Miss Keetha moved me in - - - this is how SHE thinks I live.

But the minute her back is turned, I have OTHER ideas of comfort. Sometimes I just flip around until I get that pillow down and then I bask on it in comfort.

But you ain't seen nuttin yet!!!

Sometimes when Miss Keetha isn't using her football cave, I take right over and PARTAY!!!!

This is a Wisconsin Cheeseheadfish in sole possession of the remote control, snuggled in the Badger Blankie, AND enjoying an iced drink on the side.

So - - - Chillax, 'cause I definitely am!

Love, Turd

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8 comments:

nancygrayce said...: Your imagination is boundless! I'm going to chill now!; November 21, 2010 at 3:52 PM
Angie said...: I'm getting WAY behind. Ihave to confess Mr Fergy you're a new one on me but it is nice to hear from you; November 21, 2010 at 4:04 PM
Ann in the UP said...: TF----

Aside from the aesthetics, why exactly aren't you hanging out with Fisherhubby watching fishing shows? Oh, right, watching your kinfolk lose the battle isn't fun either.

But football? For Fish? You amaze me.; November 21, 2010 at 6:29 PM
Unknown said...: Ah Mr. Ferguson, you've got the life!; November 21, 2010 at 6:56 PM
KBeau said...: So, Fergie, did you see my Hogs pull off that 2OT win over Mississippi State down in Starkvegas on Saturday night?; November 22, 2010 at 6:54 AM
Pam said...: Kudos to Keetha for chosing to make your home on the red AC - it definitely becomes you! (However, you look like you are having way more fun when you sneak out and take over the GLR!!)

BTW, I saw that comment from Nancy on the mansion post. We need some updating from her - she had a daughter getting married and another daughter having her first grandchild when she was last heard from in March!; November 22, 2010 at 8:11 AM
Theresa said...: Oh Turd, you are living the life in the Football Cave! If I decide to join you down there, don't tell Keetha... shhhh! We will PARTAY quietly!; November 22, 2010 at 1:41 PM
Kristin - The Goat said...: Hysterical!; November 23, 2010 at 8:19 AM