I saw an infomercial for an "instant apron" the other day.
Something just seems soooo wrong about putting instant and apron in the same thought sequence.
First of all, this modern marvel apron is made from some sort of plastic-esque material. It can be "wiped" clean. I thought it looked like oil cloth. If you young whipper-snappers don't know what oil cloth is, be thankful. I don't know about you - - - but on the rare occasions I wear an apron, I DON'T want to be covered from boobs past butt in a garbage bag. Even a leopard skin garbage bag. Oh yes, they offer one.
Secondly, the commercial made a huge deal about how difficult TRADITIONAL aprons are to get over the head. Really? Well, maybe if you are using a child's apron and have a head the size of a beach ball. There was concern expressed about messing up your gorgeous new hair-do putting on a traditional apron. Uh, ya-a-a-a-a-h - - I ALWAYS make sure my hair is perfectly coiffed BEFORE I step foot in the kitchen.
Then the commercial discusses the difficulties of TYING a traditional apron. Well, since kindergarten tying hasn't been an issue for me. Maybe as I get old and stiff it will become more difficult to tie behind my back, but then I'll just twist the ties to the front and tie them there. OR - - - novel idea this - - - maybe I'll get Fisherhubby to tie them FOR me. I certainly don't want a "plastic head band thingy" clamping around my waist.
Anyway, if you own one of these modern marvels and are madly in love with it - - - far be it from me to discourage you from using it.
But as for me at my house, if I want to put on an apron, it has to be made of soft, fine count, calico fabric.
Or - - - better yet - - - a little white flouncy ruffled thing that I can wear over my fishnet stockings and ultra short black mini skirt.
And when you buy THAT story - - - I've got a lovely piece of "waterfront" property I want to sell you in the Bayou.
(photo credit: instantapron.com)