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Monday, August 30, 2010

A Tale of Two Cats

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We had two showings of our house yesterday.

One of our house showing "issues" is actually two issues - - - our cats, Gomer and Fuzzie.

We, the two humans who live here, have been TRAINED by these cats. We know when to open doors, when to close them, and lots of other fancy tricks to keep life with two cats running smoothly.

No realtor can be expected to keep track of all these nuances.

What to do????


We thought two little cat carriers would be just the ticket! We could "capture" our little divas, place them in the carriers, and then take them away in the car.

True - - - it WAS in the 90's yesterday and HOT, so we didn't think leaving them in a parked car in a sunny parking lot was going to work. We decided we'd get a "take out" lunch, find a shady place to park, and wait with our feline baggage.

Cats have uncanny ways of KNOWING when something strange is about to go down. We decided we would each pick up one cat at the same moment to avoid the "disappearing act" that would happen if ONE was alerted to "danger" when the other was captured.


Fisherhubby picked up Fuzzie. She is definitely HIS cat. She comes out of hiding just to sit on his lap, place her forepaws on his chest, and look lovingly into his eyes.

It's sickening.

He scooped her up and she didn't suspect a thing. So far, so good.


It was my job to capture Gomer. (Whose name stands for Get Out of My E. R.)

I don't very often hold either cat, not liking to get cat hair all over everything. So, Gomer didn't expect me to pick him up. Surprisingly, he decided to roll with the punches and didn't give me any problems.

Next we needed to get them into the cat carriers, which were sitting side by side on our washer and dryer.

Someone needs to rename those things. No - - - not the washer and dryer, the cat CARRIERS.

First, Fisherhubby put Fuzzie into a carrier. She wasn't excited about the prospect, and he had to do a little coaxing (intrepreted FORCING) but in she went without making a peep. He latched her little door and turned for Gomer.

When Gomer saw his head being aimed for the little door to his carrier, things started going very awry!!!

He was NOT going in that thing.

His back arched.

His forepaws went spread eagle and he PUSHED back as hard as he could.

His hair stood on end.

He hissed.

He WOULD have scratched if he had any claws.

He growled in the most threatening growl scream you've ever heard a cat utter!!!

Cat hair went flying EVERYWHERE all over our CLEAN washer, dryer, and entire laundry room.

Suddenly, the TOP flew off of Fuzzies carrier and in SHEER panic at hearing her "brother" screaming - - - she leaped out, over the top and ran away.

Obviously our great idea of using cat carriers was about the worst idea we'd had in a century.

We went with Plan B: Recatch those two cats, shut them in the car SANS carriers and hope for the best.

Turns out Plan B should have been Plan A.

It went off without a hitch. Fuzzie settled onto the back seat floor and never made a peep. Gomer preferred to sit in our gran's car seat and stare out the window - - - but he ALSO was peepless.

We went to the drive-up window, where I kept one hand on Gomer to try to discourage the old "cat out the window" routine that we anticipated he would attempt. I felt his little muscles tensing as he toyed with the idea, but all went well.

We collected our food and drove across town to a shady area in the park to enjoy our lunch. I opened the bag to distribute said lunch only to discover they had given us NEITHER of our sides.

So typical.

How did YOUR day go yesterday????

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26 comments:

ann said...

Keetha -- I know exactly what you mean. We also have two cats and we also just sold our house.

We actually bought a large outdoor cage for the cats about a year ago. We put them in the cage for the showings.

We're "those crazy cat people" in our neighborhood. When you stop by the house I'll show you the cool contraption. It has tunnels and everything.

Erin said...

I feel your pain - I really do. It's one of the things that keeps me from moving.

Ann in the UP said...

So...was this planned as a spit and snort entry???

Any and probably all of us with cats have been through your yesterday with at least one of our critters!

My cat Velcro, would not get into a carrier, ever. Somehow she could swell to five times normal size and brace her paws just so. Amazing.
(With these present Fuzzies, I bring the carrier upstairs for fun and put catnip treats into it, make it hard to get into, and leave them all alone.) Then I just bring it back to the basement and hide it. Someday it'll pay off.

KathyB. said...

This is so funny, and true. No problemo for us to crate dogs but those durn cats just know every time when something is up. I am impressed with Fuzzy's ability to pop the lid off the crate. Obviously the cats know how to manipulate you both, like I said, those durn cats!

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Hey Keetha,
But the good thing is you had two house showings! Things are moving along and just wait until you need to catch those little buggers for your move.
Our cats did not really care for that kind of thing. Lily spent the first night of our move in the woods during a torrential downpour complete with crackling lightening.
Sigh.
Try to keep sane,
Hugs,
Cindy

imaginationlane said...

Thanks for a wonderful start to the week, Keetha...I had a great laugh at your story! I know it's not especially funny at the time, having been there myself, but I did enjoy picturing your furry friends' attempts to avoid capture...:)

ain't for city gals said...

lol Keetha...hopefully the house will sell REALLY fast!! You and fisherhubby have been trained very well!

Theresa said...

Bless your little heart! How did the showing go after you did all that work to get the cats out of the house? Hope it went well!

Enjoy your evening my friend, thanks for the giggle:)

Shannon said...

Ok, so I've been scrolling through your blog trying to catch up! Are you moving?

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Laughing so hard! Yep been there and done that! Love the visual of hiss, cat hair flying the running for the hills. Cats gotta love em! Sorry your sides were missing...so typical!

Lisa said...

They always find a way! If you turn up the carriers and scruff their necks you can lower them in back feet first. I work for a Vet we do this alot! It works. But if they like the car that's good too! Maybe since you may have to do it often it is better to not use the carriers! Good luck with the house!
Hugs, Lisa

Pam said...

Sounds like you had an interesting day! My cat hates the carrier, but you can't pry him out of it at the vet so we have to undo the top to get him out. Hope you sell your house soon.

Headless Mom said...

Oh my! I may have just shut them in the smallest powder room that you have and put a sign on the door to not open it.

Thus, another reason I don't have pets!

Lori E said...

Oh the stories I could tell. Our darling cat really had another side to him. I would have 18 years of stories with our cat.
Ohhhh the stories.
I hope the showings went well.

Kirby3131 said...

I think I just woke the neighbors with my hootin' and howlin'. I have spent hours getting my cats into a carrier, finding them after they escape from my hands (because I was just shredded by their back claws.) I was so fed up the first time I tried to cage them that I got a visiting vet to come see them so I wouldn't have to haul them to the vet.

My cats get car sick, so they HAVE to be in a carrier. Lovely, huh?

I love that you took them to the drive thru and then to a shady spot :) You're so much fun!!

Kristin _ The Goat

Angie said...

Oh SHRIEK! I am creased up laughing at this. We've only ever had dogs which are probably a bit more biddable. They just sit in the back of the car looking cute and drooling all down the window. However, they do have minds of their own and can be little buggers!

Tee hee - I never knew you Americans used this term "bugger" in the same sense as us. It ranks among the swear words but, you know, I think it is one of the funniest words. Funny ha-ha I mean. Just think of it as a word and the more yuo think, the funnier it gets! Or is it just me?

Jerri junque said...

How how funny, we are animal-less at the present. And now I remember why. I told the boys when the old cat, we had died, we would talk about a dog. I am happy to report the cat died of natural causes. Never know with my grandsons. But no one has said a word about a dog. Phew, I am enjoying this no responibility of an animal. Now even more.

nancygrayce said...

Our cat scratches with the back claws.....do your cats have back claws? Our vet would only take out front ones.

That is hilarious and having a cat I can clearly see the whole incident of trying to get them in their carriers!

Maria said...

Owww is it common practise to remove cats claws in the US????

Hope your house sold as you would not want to go through that every week, lol

Tonja said...

Oh, Keetha, There is something about cats that has always sent up my red flags. My best friend, Tina, has 2 or 3...and she loves them to death. But, me? I just can't get there. Plus I am allergic to them! Not fun! Before we built our house, we visited a lot of houses, looking to see if we could find one we liked. Many times there would be a sign on a door that said, DO NOT OPEN...CAT INSIDE! We didn't.

Good luck with corralling them in the carriers! :-)

From the Kitchen said...

My mental picture is one of great hilarity although I'm sure the frustration level (for you and the cats) was high. Our son had to corral their cats for a cross country flight/move several months ago. And, they had to be taken out of their carriers to go through security. It was determined that they were not a threat to national security. Thank goodness!

Best,
Bonnie

Debby said...

That is a pretty funny story. Hopefully the house will sell fast so you don't have to relive that a million times.

bettyl said...

I have my stepkids convinced that I'm older than dirt, too!!

Jewel said...

Wow! Quite the drama. Of course I can't remember, but I'm sure my day was smoother than yours (and less hairy)

Dawn said...

It always amazes me how a cats legs can grow enormously long to prevent it being place where it doesn't want to go!

Dustin and Kayla said...

this is so funny and I feel like it should be something I wrote! It too 2 male vets to get Diabs in his cage after he woke up from surgery!