The Eclectic Company: I Hate to Vacuum

* "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon!"

* "Those who throw dirt only lose ground."

* "I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."

* "The road to success is always under construction."

* "I fish, therefore I lie."

* "Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back and I know Y."

* "Teamwork means never having to take all the blame."

* "I barely survived yesterday and now it's already today!"

* "Do you call Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?"

* "So, how many days DID it take to build Rome?"

* "Cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues."

* "Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday."

* "Don't sweat petty things . . . or pet sweaty things"

* "Two wrongs are only the beginning"

* "Worrying works. 90% of the things I worry about never happen."

* "I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart."

* "When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?"

* "Legend: A lie that has the dignity of age."

* "A diamond is forever: The payments are longer."

* "When in doubt, mumble: When in trouble, delegate: When in charge, ponder."

* "I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle."

* "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!"

* "It is better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."

* "An eye for an eye leaves the world blind."

* "Sports do not build character, they reveal it!"

* "Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture"

* "I'm in shape - round IS a shape."

* "Money talks, but all mine says is "good-bye."

* "If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?"

* "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!"

* "A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff"

* "I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it!"

* "Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is."

* "Nothing is fool proof to a talented fool."

* "Bacteria - the back door of a cafeteria."

* "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

* "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts."

* "As I said before, I never repeat myself."

* "Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!"

* "Young at heart, slightly older in other places."

* "(I'm) proof that evolution can go in reverse"

* "My reality check bounced"

* "If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?"

* "I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them."

* "I was uncool before uncool was cool."

* "Middle age: When your age starts to show around your middle"

* "Do not disturb, I'm already disturbed."

* "If an open door is ajar, is an open jar adoor?"

* "March Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."

* "Telepath Wanted: You know where to apply!"

* "The information went data way"

* "I'm bilingual - I speak English and SMACK!"

* "Mental floss prevents moral decay."

* "Why use a big word when a diminutive one will do?"

* "Why is abbreviation such a long word?"

* "I can see clearly now, the brain is gone."

* "Every morning is the dawn of a new error"

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Quotes of Note

You're born a male but you have to CHOOSE to be a man" - Herm Edwards

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Unknown

"They err who think Santa Clause comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart." - Mrs. Paul M. Ell

"Thankfully, our true roots are in heritage and not things. I just need to keep reminding myself that things are only reminders of heritage." - Keetha Broyles, June 21, 2010

"Tears lubricate the soul." - from "Finding Buck McHenry"

"Somehow you must come to understand that God is love, that love is the proof of God, and forgiveness is the proof of love." - The Priest in "Levi's Will" by W. Dale Cramer

"The truth about a man is in what he does, not what he says." - W. Dale Cramer in "Levi's Will"

"Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G. K. Chesterton

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I Hate to Vacuum

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I HATE to vacuum.

I think part of it is that I KNOW how to vacuum correctly - - - "Beulah" (my mom) saw to that! Furniture needs to be moved. Attachments need to be attached. Corners and crevices need to be suctioned free of lint, dust, dirt, and bugs.

I HATE it.

It doesn't help that I am NOT friends with Dyson.

Fortunately for me, Fisherhubby is friends with Dyson. He actually enjoys vacuuming.

Maybe because he's not laboring under the "Beulah" rules.

Oh, he attaches and glides under things. But he doesn't see the need to move furniture except on rare occasions like when the Pope is coming to visit. And since the Pope rarely visits - - -

He is happy and I am happy because I didn't have to face the Dreaded Dyson.

But the Dreaded Dyson needs to be faced TODAY and Fisherhubby is toiling away in the ER.

I'm sitting here, at home, at my lappy, playing.

I'm not a rocket scientist - - - but I think even I can connect THESE dots.

It's Dreaded Dyson time for me.

The End!

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10 comments:

Anne said...: I HATE to vacuum too...and I'm also anal like you in how to vac...but I pay for it in the end with a sore back which lays me up for a day or two. Vac'ing sucks!!!; December 29, 2010 at 11:14 AM
Anonymous said...: I haven't had a visit from the Pope either! What's up????

My pet peeve is dusting. ECH and ECH! Makes me sneeze and puts me in a bad mood. And it's totally dusty the next day.

So, between you and me ~ we'd never make the MERRY MAID team!!

There are other fish to fry, so's to speak!

Cough/sneeze/choke.....Jan; December 29, 2010 at 11:26 AM
j said...: So now, due to that last photo, I have an image of Keetha sitting on the couch with grapes and fan, saying "You missed a spot honey." while ogling your fella.

I'd ogle Bryan if he would do chores too :); December 29, 2010 at 11:38 AM
Theresa said...: Well, if all I had to do today was vacuum... I would be SOOOOO happy! I am dusting and doing so much cleaning! I wish I had a Dyson! Years ago, I bought a Rainbow, it is awesome but the biggest pain in the butt EVER! So, I use lots of other means to clean my floors and seldom ever drag that pain in the butt out!

Enjoy your day my friend! Pretend the Dyson is your new best friend:) HUGS!; December 29, 2010 at 12:40 PM
Debby@Just Breathe said...: So sorry you have to face that today. I have been blessed to have my daughter vacuum for me. I have a Dyson that I love but got a self-propelled Hoover for myself which makes it a lot easier for me.; December 29, 2010 at 12:45 PM
Anke said...: How about I come vacuum for you, but you come down here and clean my bathroom. That's the chore I truly despise...; December 29, 2010 at 2:08 PM
Ann in the UP said...: You are a stitch! If I had to vacuum Beulah's way, we'd never get it done around here. I vacuum Flylady's way. Housework done incorrectly is better than nothing. Nothing's gonna be Perfect for long, and don't sweat it.

Good Guy NEVER vacuums, but he cooks and buys the groceries. Good enough for me.; December 29, 2010 at 2:41 PM
LV said...: I am not fond of vacuuming either. But I will take it any day over mopping. Wish I had a friend like this.; December 29, 2010 at 8:21 PM
Vickie said...: Steve is a much better at vacuumer than I. But I must admit I don't vacuum well for a reason. I'm not dummy!! I will plead bad vacuumer if someone else offers to do it "right". I was just wondering does that last picture match the caption under it? The end? ha!; December 29, 2010 at 11:04 PM
Holly said...: I think men like to vacuum because it's basically a machine. You have to plug it in and it has a motor. Vroom! Vroom!; December 30, 2010 at 9:39 PM