The Eclectic Company: Lionicide Alert!!!

* "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon!"

* "Those who throw dirt only lose ground."

* "I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."

* "The road to success is always under construction."

* "I fish, therefore I lie."

* "Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back and I know Y."

* "Teamwork means never having to take all the blame."

* "I barely survived yesterday and now it's already today!"

* "Do you call Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?"

* "So, how many days DID it take to build Rome?"

* "Cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues."

* "Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday."

* "Don't sweat petty things . . . or pet sweaty things"

* "Two wrongs are only the beginning"

* "Worrying works. 90% of the things I worry about never happen."

* "I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart."

* "When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?"

* "Legend: A lie that has the dignity of age."

* "A diamond is forever: The payments are longer."

* "When in doubt, mumble: When in trouble, delegate: When in charge, ponder."

* "I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle."

* "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!"

* "It is better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."

* "An eye for an eye leaves the world blind."

* "Sports do not build character, they reveal it!"

* "Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture"

* "I'm in shape - round IS a shape."

* "Money talks, but all mine says is "good-bye."

* "If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?"

* "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!"

* "A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff"

* "I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it!"

* "Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is."

* "Nothing is fool proof to a talented fool."

* "Bacteria - the back door of a cafeteria."

* "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

* "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts."

* "As I said before, I never repeat myself."

* "Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!"

* "Young at heart, slightly older in other places."

* "(I'm) proof that evolution can go in reverse"

* "My reality check bounced"

* "If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?"

* "I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them."

* "I was uncool before uncool was cool."

* "Middle age: When your age starts to show around your middle"

* "Do not disturb, I'm already disturbed."

* "If an open door is ajar, is an open jar adoor?"

* "March Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."

* "Telepath Wanted: You know where to apply!"

* "The information went data way"

* "I'm bilingual - I speak English and SMACK!"

* "Mental floss prevents moral decay."

* "Why use a big word when a diminutive one will do?"

* "Why is abbreviation such a long word?"

* "I can see clearly now, the brain is gone."

* "Every morning is the dawn of a new error"

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Quotes of Note

You're born a male but you have to CHOOSE to be a man" - Herm Edwards

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Unknown

"They err who think Santa Clause comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart." - Mrs. Paul M. Ell

"Thankfully, our true roots are in heritage and not things. I just need to keep reminding myself that things are only reminders of heritage." - Keetha Broyles, June 21, 2010

"Tears lubricate the soul." - from "Finding Buck McHenry"

"Somehow you must come to understand that God is love, that love is the proof of God, and forgiveness is the proof of love." - The Priest in "Levi's Will" by W. Dale Cramer

"The truth about a man is in what he does, not what he says." - W. Dale Cramer in "Levi's Will"

"Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G. K. Chesterton

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Lionicide Alert!!!

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We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog posts to bring this special news bulletin.

We have just learned that there was an attempted lionicide in a high school science lab near here today.

Apparently the class mascot was a bit disgruntled over his living conditions and threatened to remove himself - - - PERMANENTLY- - - from the lab.

In an heroic rescue attempt, the science teacher pulled him from his would-be guillotine, soothed his ruffled mane, fed him some animal crackers, and restored him to his rightful place as King of the Lab.

As this reporter left the scene, she heard the lion say, "Evan made me do it."

Absolutely no stuffed animals were harmed in any way during the production of this post.

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7 comments:

Unknown said...: You are too funny!; September 30, 2009 at 7:18 PM
Lori E said...: Uh oh...he didn't eat any lion animal crackers did he?
Mind you I have read a book entitled Now I Know Why Tigers Eat Their Young so I guess the lion might feel the same way about it's teen children.; September 30, 2009 at 7:28 PM
KBeau said...: Your students must love having you for a teacher. They probably ask even better questions these days. Back in the mid '80's after the birth of my third son, one of my students politely asked, "Mrs. Beaumont, are you going to have any more babies or did you get fixed?" I'm sure you could have made a science lesson out of that.; September 30, 2009 at 7:36 PM
Connie N. said...: Glad you were able to rescue the lion...how did Evan make out?; September 30, 2009 at 10:12 PM
kyooty said...: oh that's too cute!; October 1, 2009 at 10:51 AM
Laura @ the shorehouse. said...: Hahahahahahahahaha!; October 1, 2009 at 12:01 PM
nancygrayce said...: PETA is gonna be all over this!

How funny your students must be and how comfortable you must make them feel!

Not to ask another stupid moon question, but I'm doubting myself now.....full moon last night.....so is the moon now going to be waning? I need to know because I want to get the dogs a hair cut!; October 3, 2009 at 8:33 AM