The Eclectic Company: Why is the lifeguard always the cutest kid on the beach?

* "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon!"

* "Those who throw dirt only lose ground."

* "I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."

* "The road to success is always under construction."

* "I fish, therefore I lie."

* "Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back and I know Y."

* "Teamwork means never having to take all the blame."

* "I barely survived yesterday and now it's already today!"

* "Do you call Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?"

* "So, how many days DID it take to build Rome?"

* "Cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues."

* "Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday."

* "Don't sweat petty things . . . or pet sweaty things"

* "Two wrongs are only the beginning"

* "Worrying works. 90% of the things I worry about never happen."

* "I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart."

* "When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?"

* "Legend: A lie that has the dignity of age."

* "A diamond is forever: The payments are longer."

* "When in doubt, mumble: When in trouble, delegate: When in charge, ponder."

* "I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle."

* "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!"

* "It is better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."

* "An eye for an eye leaves the world blind."

* "Sports do not build character, they reveal it!"

* "Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture"

* "I'm in shape - round IS a shape."

* "Money talks, but all mine says is "good-bye."

* "If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?"

* "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!"

* "A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff"

* "I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it!"

* "Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is."

* "Nothing is fool proof to a talented fool."

* "Bacteria - the back door of a cafeteria."

* "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

* "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts."

* "As I said before, I never repeat myself."

* "Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!"

* "Young at heart, slightly older in other places."

* "(I'm) proof that evolution can go in reverse"

* "My reality check bounced"

* "If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?"

* "I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them."

* "I was uncool before uncool was cool."

* "Middle age: When your age starts to show around your middle"

* "Do not disturb, I'm already disturbed."

* "If an open door is ajar, is an open jar adoor?"

* "March Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."

* "Telepath Wanted: You know where to apply!"

* "The information went data way"

* "I'm bilingual - I speak English and SMACK!"

* "Mental floss prevents moral decay."

* "Why use a big word when a diminutive one will do?"

* "Why is abbreviation such a long word?"

* "I can see clearly now, the brain is gone."

* "Every morning is the dawn of a new error"

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Quotes of Note

You're born a male but you have to CHOOSE to be a man" - Herm Edwards

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Unknown

"They err who think Santa Clause comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart." - Mrs. Paul M. Ell

"Thankfully, our true roots are in heritage and not things. I just need to keep reminding myself that things are only reminders of heritage." - Keetha Broyles, June 21, 2010

"Tears lubricate the soul." - from "Finding Buck McHenry"

"Somehow you must come to understand that God is love, that love is the proof of God, and forgiveness is the proof of love." - The Priest in "Levi's Will" by W. Dale Cramer

"The truth about a man is in what he does, not what he says." - W. Dale Cramer in "Levi's Will"

"Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G. K. Chesterton

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